くコ:彡 MỰC NHỒI THỊT くコ:彡

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

*Sauté garlic, onion, tomato, fish sauce, sugar, soy, leek [for pork stuffing] // set aside garlic, leek, fish sauce, sugar, ginger [for sauce]. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Make one cm incisions in squid tip. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
*Add ground pork to sautéd garlic, onion, tomato, fish sauce, sugar, soy, leek; add more sugar, fish sauce, salt and pepper. Cook until pork is just lightly brown. ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒

(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Stuff the pork inside the uncooked squid, leaving one or two cm of space at opening. This part is so much harder than I thought it would be. Squid is tough and doesn't give or stretch at all. Don't tear squid. o(^◇^)o

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
*Bring vegetable oil to boil and cook squids, rolling on all sides until brown. (◉Θ◉)

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*bake in oven on low heat [or in broiler]. (･Θ･;)

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
*While squid is in the oven sauté the garlic, leek, fish sauce, sugar, ginger in olive oil. ༼ ˘ ۝ ˘ ༽

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Sauce will brown because of the sugar, roll the squid in the sauce until coated. (ﾟ⊿ﾟ)

(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Serve. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Here I am!

PARK SLOPE MAN // SAKÉ SCALLION SKEWERS

It was a nice enough day. It was in the upper 60°s but cloudy. The perfect weather for bike weather. It was bike weather. After sweating up a storm (the clouds had gone by now) around the 'Prospect Park' I approached some dads, the stay at home variety of dad I assumed, and asked them for their best saké scallion skewer recipe. –All they said to do (and get this) was marinade some chicken breasts in equal parts water, rice vinegar, saké and sugar. And boil it and let it cool.

When I say these dad-guys were cool its a real understatement. One of them, Dougie (or 'D-man' as I'm going to call him) was a part time P.E. [physical education] teacher at a private school! And the other one was something else!! (and they were definitely smoking weed). I had a lot to learn if I was going to be home-alone all day in Park Slope. As I am currently unemployed.

After returning home and lint-rolling my sweater as 'D-man' had advised I do (I could already feel their Park Slope pulse pulsing through me, it was the chillest of pulses a very faint pulse) I went straight into the kitchen where I knew I now belonged.

In addition to bike riding, being unemployed affords you the time do things you might not usually have time for;

Have you ever noticed how Park Slope Men are always doing things on lists... I personally like how I put 'shower' on my lists.

Just because you burn through your savings doesn't mean you have to burn through your saké scallion skewers. After cleaning the office, going to the bike store, and researching a completely self invented "alphabet project" the stripped chicken breast came out of the marinade and was skewered with scallion and put on a George Formal grill (panini press).

'The possibilities that come with unemployment can only be one-upped by the joie de' vie brought on by the Park Slope lifestyle'! I thought-screamed while carrying my tote bag around the apartment while Swiffering while wearing my crocks. It was 9:47 in the morning and I was ALIVE.

Dinner was finished by eleven, I was way ahead of 'to-do' lists. I was so ahead of my to-do lists I couldn't see them in the horizon. My to-do lists were eating my dust. I was running laps around the lists of things I had to do. Because I don't have a job I sat at the table and waited for Eva, who does have a job. This part is key to the best version of my truest Park Slope Man identity. She arrived home around 5; by which time I had already made a cucumber slaw with equal parts vinegar, sugar, and hand made gluten free flour tortillas 1 to 3 water to flour (salt). I knew 'D-man' would be smiling down on me from his apartment cloud.

The taste was nice. 

AGNOLOTTI DEL PLIN ÉN LOS ANGELES

Pasta is easy to make. If you have never tried to make it you aught to. As a basic rule you're adding 1 egg per 1 cup of flour and a pinch of salt. This pasta base was 1.5 cups flour, 1 egg and 1 egg yolk.

I made this specific pasta the night I flew back to L.A. from a 6 week trip in Vietnam. My traveling companion and I were in the mood for Italian, although we were really just in the mood for anything not south east asian.

A few months ago I had a very good agnolotti del plin from Eatily with ham in it; this was the inspiration for my pasta. I sauted ground pork with spinach, walnuts, and dates. 

The pork, spinach, walnut, date saute was processed with ricotta cheese.

The puree has a nice light green texture, it looks like delicious slime.

I rolled the pasta out into strips and filled a zip lock baggie with the slime, cutting a hole in the corner of the bag so as to be able to pipe it out. The picture above illustrates how much filler is too much, this was way too much and I threw that batch of agnolotti out.

This one is more like it (half the amount pictured above).

Using my finger I spaced the pork, spinach goo into "plins" or pinches, then using a ribbon cutter I separated the plins and pinched them shut. Very fresh pasta doesn't need to be boiled for long, 30 or 40 seconds is good (if the water is rolling it will break the pasta up); it will be overcooked if you leave it any longer.

CHICKEN LEG STUFFED WITH HERBS

This was is a chicken's leg. It was frighteningly inexpensive. 

I puréed rosemary, garlic, oregano, basil, walnuts, porcini and oil and jammed them way up inside the chicken. Between its skin.

There was a lot of herbs in that little chicken.

It was pan seared starting skin side down with white onion and garlic then turned over and placed in in the broiler for less than 10 minutes.

It was tender and moist inside and very crispy outside and intensely herbal like those 90's commercials of women having orgasms from washing their hair.

          "I think this is the best chicken you've ever made me" 

                                                                                          ~ Eva

BODEGA BROILED SALMON

My intention was to cook fish in the oven, under the broiler, but intentions don't manifest uniformly as the Romans and Ottomans remind us. Porcini mushrooms, walnuts, garlic, rosemary, olive oil were turned into a paste.

A 1lb salmon filet was cut in three and schmeared with the aforementioned paste. 

The oven wasn't getting hot. The oven was as cold as ice. To my distress the gas wasn't flowing to the ice cold cooking oven in the kitchen... It was a night like any-other but it also wasn't.

Having just moved into a lovely two bedroom in windsor terrace with my live in girlfriend, I left it to her to set up our utilities.

Utilities can be a tricky matter, if approaching them from a traditional Monopoly™framework you would not be incorrect to assume there are only two utilities,

We, however, do not live in a Hasbro dystopia, but I digress....

I asked my serious live in girlfriend to contact Con Ed regarding the matter of the gas (and its absence) We hoped at very least that Con Ed could confirm there was no gas leak.

Eva and I have only ever paid utilities in Manhattan apartments; the hassidic land lord had included all the utilities in the rent of a past apartment I had shared with friends in Williamsburg. But barring this one exception we had both only ever dealt with Con Ed, as a supplier for both our electricity and gas. –We were surprised to discover that in Brooklyn, as in most places in the country (and probably world), gas and electricity are supplied by separate utility companies. Only in Manhattan does Con Ed supply both. We were forced to extend the olive branch of friendship to a hot company named National Grid. They were the guys for us, they had gas and we wanted it.

The expediency with which National Grid turned our gas off was not matched by expediency reestablishing gas. We were informed that it would take them two weeks to come back and flip the "on gas" switch. But the fish could not wait. The hour glass was running on empty.

I'm not sure why I chose to divide a fillet of salmon (intended for two) into three bits but what ever divine hand guided my knife was omnipotent and all knowing.

The third piece of salmon was traded to Tony who works at the bodega below us in exchange for the use of his broiler. The salmon broiled for 20 minutes on a bed of grapefruit while I drank cans of beer in the bodega's back room with the loose organization of local men who used it as their hangout. Tony said it was the best fish he ever ate, a polite exaggeration.

MISO COD // MUSHY PEAS // SCALLION FRY BREAD // BEETS

This is a cod fish filet, it sat in a glaze in the fridge for a few hours. The glaze was .5 cup Gruner veltliner, .5 cup rice vinegar, 3 table spoons sugar, 3 tablespoons miso paste and it was simmered briefly (to evaporate alcohol and dissolve the miso paste).

This is peas and mint.

The peas were heated in a pan with a pat of butter and some salt and then pulsed in a food processor with mint.

This is dough made from 1.5 cups flour and .5 cups water; it has salt in it too, as well as scallions.

They became 8 cakes.

These are three beets after roasting in the oven for an hour at 400° with a little sesame oil. They are resting in a freshly seasoned cast iron pan.

The scallion cakes fried for a minute or two on each side, until golden brown, in vegetable oil.

The cod was seared in a pan on high heat and then moved to the broiler very briefly. Mushy peas support the fish and my attempt at 'pearling' beets.

Ta-Da.