BLACK BASS IN POTATO WEAVE

Grande or 'Haute Cuisine' may have began with Marie-Antoine Carême but it has clearly ended with me, with this dish right here right now. The Fish Weave. Start by cutting off all fins with a strong scissor; but leave the tail on. Also, definitely gut that sucker.

If you don't have a mandolin, easily my favorite kitchen tool, go and buy one. Using the mandolin slice potato chip off an unpeeled white potato. Arrange the potato slices in overlapping layers on a flexible cutting board.

Remove the scales with a knife and stuff the fish with things that have the flavors you like to eat. Real talk- I tried to braise the fish in stock but I think this was a mis-step and would not recommend braising.

Cover the layered potato weave with plastic wrap, make sure the plastic wrap is longer than the weave, and place another flexible cutting board on top of the wrap. Using the two boards to sandwich the plastic wrap and potato, invert so that the plastic wrap is now on bottom and the potato weave in on top.

Lay the bass on the near edge of the potato weave with the plastic wrap overhang. The tail should be sticking out.

Using the plastic wrap and cutting board for support roll the fish in the style that a mafia member might roll a dead body in a carpet; or a sushi chef might roll maki. Make sure not to roll the plastic wrap inside the potato weave. Throw away plastic wrap and look at what you did.

Preheat oven to 350°. Fill an oven proof stove pan with a fair amount of frying oil and head on stove until oil shimmers. Very carefully place the fish roll in the pan to fry.

Fry the fish on the stove top for 4 or so minutes. While fish is frying prepare a small bowl of 3/4 sugar, 1/4 salt, and enough fish sauce to make a thin paste. Paint the paste top of the fish and place pan in oven. The paste will make a sweet salty crusty glaze; re apply the paste intermittently while baking. This will also insure that the potato does not burn.

After 10 minutes of oven time pour out the excess oil in the pan and place the pan back in the oven.

I finished fish on baking sheet in broiler; but again this may have not been necessary.

Put potato weaved fish on a plate.

Did this guy like it?

Yes he did.

PORCINI STUFFED CHICKEN // MISO GLAZED CARROTS // MASHED PARSNIP ONION & POTATO

Summer is officially here. But before you grab your picnic blankets and sun cream make room for one last fall inspired comfort dish.

Carrots x sugar x vinegar x miso paste.

Processed porcini x walnuts x rosemary x olive oil inserted in the chicken. This was an expensive chicken, very deserving of a stuffing.

Peel and cubs parsnips and potatoes and onions and boil with bay leaves and bouillon.

Puree parsnips and potatoes and onions; keep warm in oven. Top with parmesan.

Braise carrots in oven proof stove pan in marinade and then strain and roast carrots on baking sheet.

Start chicken skin side down on stove turn when skin has gone brown, put in oven and finish in broiler.

Continue with summer.

くコ:彡 MỰC NHỒI THỊT くコ:彡

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くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

*Sauté garlic, onion, tomato, fish sauce, sugar, soy, leek [for pork stuffing] // set aside garlic, leek, fish sauce, sugar, ginger [for sauce]. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
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くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Make one cm incisions in squid tip. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
*Add ground pork to sautéd garlic, onion, tomato, fish sauce, sugar, soy, leek; add more sugar, fish sauce, salt and pepper. Cook until pork is just lightly brown. ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒

(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Stuff the pork inside the uncooked squid, leaving one or two cm of space at opening. This part is so much harder than I thought it would be. Squid is tough and doesn't give or stretch at all. Don't tear squid. o(^◇^)o

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
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(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
*Bring vegetable oil to boil and cook squids, rolling on all sides until brown. (◉Θ◉)

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*bake in oven on low heat [or in broiler]. (･Θ･;)

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
*While squid is in the oven sauté the garlic, leek, fish sauce, sugar, ginger in olive oil. ༼ ˘ ۝ ˘ ༽

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Sauce will brown because of the sugar, roll the squid in the sauce until coated. (ﾟ⊿ﾟ)

(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
(´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀) (´･(00)･｀)
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
*Serve. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Here I am!

PARK SLOPE MAN // SAKÉ SCALLION SKEWERS

It was a nice enough day. It was in the upper 60°s but cloudy. The perfect weather for bike weather. It was bike weather. After sweating up a storm (the clouds had gone by now) around the 'Prospect Park' I approached some dads, the stay at home variety of dad I assumed, and asked them for their best saké scallion skewer recipe. –All they said to do (and get this) was marinade some chicken breasts in equal parts water, rice vinegar, saké and sugar. And boil it and let it cool.

When I say these dad-guys were cool its a real understatement. One of them, Dougie (or 'D-man' as I'm going to call him) was a part time P.E. [physical education] teacher at a private school! And the other one was something else!! (and they were definitely smoking weed). I had a lot to learn if I was going to be home-alone all day in Park Slope. As I am currently unemployed.

After returning home and lint-rolling my sweater as 'D-man' had advised I do (I could already feel their Park Slope pulse pulsing through me, it was the chillest of pulses a very faint pulse) I went straight into the kitchen where I knew I now belonged.

In addition to bike riding, being unemployed affords you the time do things you might not usually have time for;

Have you ever noticed how Park Slope Men are always doing things on lists... I personally like how I put 'shower' on my lists.

Just because you burn through your savings doesn't mean you have to burn through your saké scallion skewers. After cleaning the office, going to the bike store, and researching a completely self invented "alphabet project" the stripped chicken breast came out of the marinade and was skewered with scallion and put on a George Formal grill (panini press).

'The possibilities that come with unemployment can only be one-upped by the joie de' vie brought on by the Park Slope lifestyle'! I thought-screamed while carrying my tote bag around the apartment while Swiffering while wearing my crocks. It was 9:47 in the morning and I was ALIVE.

Dinner was finished by eleven, I was way ahead of 'to-do' lists. I was so ahead of my to-do lists I couldn't see them in the horizon. My to-do lists were eating my dust. I was running laps around the lists of things I had to do. Because I don't have a job I sat at the table and waited for Eva, who does have a job. This part is key to the best version of my truest Park Slope Man identity. She arrived home around 5; by which time I had already made a cucumber slaw with equal parts vinegar, sugar, and hand made gluten free flour tortillas 1 to 3 water to flour (salt). I knew 'D-man' would be smiling down on me from his apartment cloud.

The taste was nice. 

AGNOLOTTI DEL PLIN ÉN LOS ANGELES

Pasta is easy to make. If you have never tried to make it you aught to. As a basic rule you're adding 1 egg per 1 cup of flour and a pinch of salt. This pasta base was 1.5 cups flour, 1 egg and 1 egg yolk.

I made this specific pasta the night I flew back to L.A. from a 6 week trip in Vietnam. My traveling companion and I were in the mood for Italian, although we were really just in the mood for anything not south east asian.

A few months ago I had a very good agnolotti del plin from Eatily with ham in it; this was the inspiration for my pasta. I sauted ground pork with spinach, walnuts, and dates. 

The pork, spinach, walnut, date saute was processed with ricotta cheese.

The puree has a nice light green texture, it looks like delicious slime.

I rolled the pasta out into strips and filled a zip lock baggie with the slime, cutting a hole in the corner of the bag so as to be able to pipe it out. The picture above illustrates how much filler is too much, this was way too much and I threw that batch of agnolotti out.

This one is more like it (half the amount pictured above).

Using my finger I spaced the pork, spinach goo into "plins" or pinches, then using a ribbon cutter I separated the plins and pinched them shut. Very fresh pasta doesn't need to be boiled for long, 30 or 40 seconds is good (if the water is rolling it will break the pasta up); it will be overcooked if you leave it any longer.

CHICKEN LEG STUFFED WITH HERBS

This was is a chicken's leg. It was frighteningly inexpensive. 

I puréed rosemary, garlic, oregano, basil, walnuts, porcini and oil and jammed them way up inside the chicken. Between its skin.

There was a lot of herbs in that little chicken.

It was pan seared starting skin side down with white onion and garlic then turned over and placed in in the broiler for less than 10 minutes.

It was tender and moist inside and very crispy outside and intensely herbal like those 90's commercials of women having orgasms from washing their hair.

          "I think this is the best chicken you've ever made me" 

                                                                                          ~ Eva